Part 4 - State Side

Jed:

Towering above Salt Lake City and Utah County are the Wasatch Mountains. All year round you can hike up into the majestic mountains and find something new every time, from the snow capped peaks of the winter to the stunning colours of the leaves in the Fall.

Utah has been my home for many years. I was born in Murray and grew up in Utah County. Living in Utah has given me opportunities for adventure and a love of the great outdoors.

I have always loved to hike the never ending network of trails up there. Living so close to the Wasatch front, I can drive to the mountains from my house and be hiking minutes later from the trail heads.

While hiking a few weeks before Aaron arrived in Utah I thought, not only is Utah 4675 miles away from Aaron, it is also 4375 ft higher in altitude than the seaside town that Aaron lives in. Utah uses the slogan ‘Life elevated’ and has so much beauty and adventure to offer.

I was so excited for Aaron to arrive and share my home state, and looked forward to taking him to some of my favorite places. I could think of so many adventures we could have together and ways to discover more about each other.

There was just one thing I needed to do before he arrived....

My family are 4th generation members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormon Church. I was raised in a religious household with regular church attendance and certain rules and standards that I was expected to follow. My family have always been loving and I appreciate the religious upbringing I had. It remains with me today and is a big part of who I am.

One thing about my life didn't fit into this though. I am sure you have guessed by now that Aaron and I are gay. As it is with most religions including my own, the belief is that marriage is between a man and a women and homosexuality is not acceptable. Utah has a high percentage of Mormons and culturally it can be very difficult for people to come out to their families and be accepted for being who they are.

I have known I was gay for a long time but because of my familiy’s beliefs I kept it to myself for a long time and only told my Mom and Dad three years ago. I had a lot more of my close family to tell before Aaron got off that plane—including two brothers and two sisters.

Bringing someone into your circle of family and friends can be a big step forward, but when that person is of the same sex and from a different country, this can make things a bit more complicated.

We have a family dinner every Sunday evening. I go to this every week. Aaron would also be attending the weekly dinners while he is here. It wasn’t like having a friend around for dinner for a random week—he would be here for a month. I think they might catch on to what was going on.

This was the time to reveal my true self to my loved ones. Was I really ready for the questions and discussions that could follow?

It is a big step to come out to those you care about, but to follow that up with “I have also met someone and he will be coming to dinner next week,” could be a lot for them to take in all at once. I had hope that my family would embrace Aaron and accept him as my boyfriend.

I had had many opportunities to come out before but the more I put it off the harder and more awkward it become. I finally decided to force myself into it by texting my siblings that I had something I needed to tell them in person.  I started with my youngest sister Lauren. After an hour of awkward small talk she finally said “So what did you really drive down here to say?” She took it well and admitted it was one of a handful of possibilities I could have wanted to say. After that I texted each brother or sister before driving to their house. Each one got easier. I came out to four siblings four days before Aaron arrived.

After days of cleaning my house, redecorating my office and preparing for the month ahead I was finally on my way to the airport. It was suddenly getting very real. In less than half an hour we would be together and together for a whole month. I had a good feeling that we would get along well, but there was risk involved, because where would he go if we didn’t get along? We would have to wait it out together until his flight home.

The excitement was building too, and all the possibilities of the month ahead. I had lots planned. We had shared a lot over the past few months, so we knew we both loved the outdoors, hiking and going on adventures. That must be a good place to start.

Losing track of the time, trying to make sure everything was perfect for Aaron’s arrival, I managed to get the airport a lot later than planned. Aaron hadn’t text me yet to say he had landed, but when I looked at the screens he had touched down early. I wanted to be there waiting at arrivals when Aaron walked through. Like one of those dramatic scenes in a movie.

The arrival hall was busy, filled with happy and emotional reunions. I walked as fast I as could through the crowds looking for Aaron, hoping he had not come through yet. I then caught a glimpse of him. He looked tired with a slight look of worry on his face. He then glanced in my direction, our eyes met and he looked very happy to see me. His whole face lit up.

He has arrived, this was real. We were back together again in the same land.

Aaron

I had entered the USA on an ESTA visa. This allows me as a British citizen, to stay in the country for up to 90 days. At this point Jed and I were not in any formal relationship, so when asked at the border what is the purpose of your visit, I replied, visiting friends and family, also showing proof of the date of my return flight. Staying for just 31 days I was well within the 90 days I could legally stay, so had no problem going through border control.

As I travelled down the escalator at Salt Lake airport, into the arrivals hall, I gazed across the crowds of people waiting to greet their families and friends. I love airports and have always liked to pick people up from arrivals and the range of reunions that take place there. It is very different to be on the other side of that and be picked up and the awkward moments when everyone is looking at you as you look for the person who is waiting there for you.

I scanned the crowd again and again. Where was Jed? Did I tell him the right time? I texted him before I left San Francisco. I had also been told that my bag had been left in London, and would arrive in a few days. This meant I literally only had the clothes I was wearing.

I caught a quick glimpse of him as he was almost running through the main doors at the far side of the arrival halls. He got closer and closer, he saw me and we continued to make eye contact until we were in each others arms. We held each other for a long time, as the crowds passed us by. I felt safe and secure and started to relax. I had made it, we were together again.

Jed

The following day we set off on our first road trip together. This would be a seven day adventure through Nevada, California and then back up through Utah. Bear in mind we had only spent a total of five days in each other's company.

The first leg of the journey would be a ten hour drive through the Nevada desert. This could make or break our young relationship.  I was nervous I had made the right plans. Would he be ok sleeping in a tent? Would we have enough to talk about?

Aaron

Before I knew it we were heading down the motorway heading out of Salt Lake City and passing a vast open space. For as far as the eye could see, it was white! The ground actually looked like it was covered in snow. It was very desolate but quite beautiful, with distant mountains on the horizon.

Jed pulled off the road and parked in what looked like a rest area with toilets and water. This is a great place to stop if you don’t have much time on your journey but want to see the Bonneville Salt Flats up close.

We approached the start of the huge expanse of white and stepped onto the salt as it twinkled in the sunlight. It was so bright when you're stood out there. You could literally see miles and miles of nothing but salt.

Travelling across state borders and entering new time zones was exciting to me and quite a novelty to all of a sudden gain an hour by entering Nevada from Utah. Seven and a half hours later we crossed the border into California, after travelling through the desert. It was a lot of long very straight roads through very similar landscapes.

The last part of the journey took us through winding roads lined with thick forests. It was after dark when we arrived at our destination for the night. It felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, with just the lights from the car to light the area in front of us. A little overwhelmed at the prospect of putting up the tent in the dark and then sleeping there for the night, I got out of the car

With some teamwork and laughter we had the tent up in no time. Settling down for the night together, I relaxed very quickly and felt comforted by Jed being there next to me. My mind went back to when we said goodbye in London all those months ago, I would have never thought then that we would be in a tent together nestled somewhere in middle of the Tahoe National Park.